The crying finally stopped. I think I'm starting to feel better everyday. Then again I have started shopping again ( As if I ever stopped). My change in mood could be due to the fact that I take my last final on Tuesday. Or it could be that on Friday I got an email about a job for a company I did temp work for multiple times. It's good pay and benefits and its a very relaxed work environment. We will see how the interview goes this week, if I get one.
The only thing I am completely worried about is if I get this job I don't know if I can handle being a full time student as well. The upside is that I will have money to shop, move out, and hopefully get back to happy me. Ehhh we shall see though. I do want a degree badly but part of me also feels like life is too short to make sacrifices that cause me to be unhappy for an uncertain future (thanks V. BadBunny!!). I can easily tell you what I want right now, 2-3 years from now, not so certain.
I'm just certain that I don't want to be depressed anymore. I'm still considering if I should talk to a professional about my feelings but I fear that everyone will know. And along with "everyone" knowing I'm scared they are going to judge me or think I'm a drama queen or ungrateful. I know I have plenty to be thankful for but I still can't find lasting happiness in anything.
I'm happy your cloud of depression has lifted. But remember what we talked about. Its a growing process. We are evolving Amber. Its normal. Just dont let the negative take away your sunshine.
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