As you all should know I have a bad rap sheet with friends. Not on my behalf. I don't think. Well I was on Twitter and I said something about how only my male followers tweet me. Then i thought.. I only really ever talked to men. So it leads me to think that because of some event in my childhood I subconsciously repel women and attract men for companionship.
For instance, the situation with my mother, she hurt me more than my father. He cheated. My mother, brother sister and I left and since we lived with her she was present but didn't pay us any attention. It actually goes further back than that. The first time my parents separated she started dating this other guy that lived with us and she got pregnant and then she shipped us off to Virginia to live with my aunt. That made me mad and I felt indifferent about her because she put herself and that man before us. We were only with my aunt for less than 6 months but it felt like forever. We didn't even get to talk to our father. The next time we saw him was when my other aunt died. After that my mother moved down to VA and started dating this other man and he ended up living with us too. That's when she started beating my ass like a mad woman because I was mouthy. Then my parents got back together and she continued beating me like she lost her damn mind. That continued until middle school until my parents finally divorced. She started dating again and then, BAM! Married to the guy she dated when she 1st moved to VA. That's when the kicking out started.
Okay, so I feel that my relationship with my mother is why I can't keep woman friends. Well only a small part of it. I think somehow I feel they will hurt me, be self centered, have ALL the bad intentions in the world, and LIE and SCHEME. I know its not true but tell that to my heart.
Some of the most evil things done around me or said to or about me have been by women. I notice their jealousy and conniving ways. I also see how women are the biggest back stabbers of all. I don't get it. Never will. I feel that in order for me to be friends with a woman I have to lower my standards and accept that women LOVE to talk about other women, or gossip, lie, and partake in every type of unnecessary drama.
I don't even think I'm making sense... whatever.
oh HAHAHAH that is a story that i also know too well. i even had a moment where i stood up for my brothers who were being treated meanly by her boyfriend that she let move in with us (by the way, she charged me rent-i was in highschool and working full time and this guy lived there for FREE)
ReplyDeletehe ran to tell her that i mouthed him off, ,then i told my side of the story.
i will never forget this:
he looked at me and said "you're kicked out!". i said "you can't do that! this is my mom's house!!"
he turned to her and said her name with a question mark at the end. i watched with my eyes welling and my lips trembling.
she nodded and looked away.
Wow! I can't believe that. I however did experience something a little bit similar. It was my 1st homecoming and her husband used to drink like a fish. My mother picked me up and took me and my sister out to eat. He kept calling her phone leaving her voicemails calling her a bitch.
ReplyDeleteWhen we got to the house he put his hands on my mother and called her out her name a few more times. The next time I visited my father I told him about her new hubby and his vice for liquor and he called her and told her how he felt on the situation
She made me come in her room with her husband and have a talk where she forced me to apologize for telling my father about what was going on in our household.
Like she wasn't in danger, let alone her teenage daughters and small son.