I Didn't Sign Up For This

I could bore you with a million stories and situations but I'll cut to the chase..
My Lil cousin has been with me since February because her mother decides to "kick" her out basically. Cops were involved and Child Protective services. So she came to live with me middle of February and has been here ever since.

From then until now I have been dealing with tears, arguments, court dates, bad attitude, financial issues, mental issues, lack of privacy, and disrespect.
I understand the child is 13, but I figure by that age a child knows right from wrong. But then again based upon her circumstances and her mother maybe I'm reaching. (I know I'm being vague as hell but the last entry tells a Lil background info)

Ahh what the hell she was abused and I am the fall guy. So since that day I have been unable to work and have a life. I know that it was for a good cause and at the time I really felt great about doing such a good thing. But retrospectively not so much the same sense of hope and promise for this little girl and my sanity. Basically she's a very manipulative person.

Some part of me feels like maybe she drove her mother to the point of no return and went off on her. That doesn't make it right but I found myself feeling like I wanted to choke that little girl up. I got so mad that i grabbed her arms and got in her face and told her to get out of my room. I felt really bad afterwards because I know that scared her and I know she has never seen me that angry. But, for the whole time she has been here I bottled up everything and the lid popped. Daily I have to deal with her following behind me EVERYWHERE! Even into the bathroom. When I say she is on my ass I mean that in the most literal sense. She talks slang all the time and I tell her that she needs to talk like a lady and she says" I'm not a lady". If I just got off the phone she questions who I was talking with and what we were talking about. When i worked a few days she asked me what I was going to spend my money on. This is the little 13 year old girl with the Prada shoes.

She walks around with this sense of entitlement talking about dark-skinned people, people from the projects, and anyone that looks unkempt. So I am trying to instill different things in her but she's not absorbing anything. So it's these little things that have been eating away at me.

Now her father has not even been there really, even though she visits him every weekend he doesn't have to go back and forth to school to pick her up because she's suspended or has an exam and there are early dismissals. Or the schools calling me about her blatant disrespect and obnoxious ways. That's all my responsibility and I never called him to tell him because I learned that he doesn't know how to discipline her even after I reached out to him to tell him I was having problems.

Thursday after it all went down I tried calling her father to tell him that I was done with the situation and here it is Sunday and no one has called me. I can only imagine that she fabricated the occurrence and gave a one sided view. I have a million thoughts are going through my head right now. She may never return from her fathers house but only to get her belongings but I feel that she now knows she cant get over on me and I am standing up for myself and she cant manipulate me. She can pull the wool on her fathers eyes but not mine.

I don't think she's coming back and I'm fine with that. I just feel bad things ended this way, even though I apologized and I didn't have the opportunity to let her father know how things really are with her. But I'm done and ready to get my life back..